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Are You Crazy??

Another municipal election season is upon us. I know this because my stomach is in a constant state of agitation and my hair is turning grayer. It happens every time I see the slate of candidates and it’s been going on since 2001 when I moved to Aberdeen from the wilds of Montana.

Each four years we hear from incumbent aldermen, mayors and chiefs of police about the wonders they have performed in our collective honor. They tell us – but only when they are backed into a corner and pressed with something approaching violence – all the reasons they have failed to bring jobs to our community. They “tell us” they’ve improved our quality of life, but cannot point to examples or, as in the case of the police department, point to inaccurately reported crime rate figures which belie the facts. (It’s a very clever statistician’s trick. Report only the good stuff. And whatever you do, don’t include a column in your report for “crimes ignored, overlooked or taken on by the Sheriff’s department.”)

In the past I’ve observed outright criminal behavior. It’s called voter fraud and/or voter intimidation. This year I’m trying not to look. (You can verify this for yourself if you note that I have not once yowled about the campaign signs placed illegally within the rights of way on our streets.)

In Aberdeen, I’ve seen dead people vote and I’ve known living humans to be refused a ballot because they were deemed to be officially “dead” by a member of the Democrat Executive Committee. This happened in Ward 2 during the last election cycle when a young man moved back to Aberdeen to take over his recently deceased father’s home. Because he had the misfortune to bear his dead father’s name and address, he was banished from the world of the living by Helen Price who would not hear his protests.

And then, and this happens every single election cycle, we all prove ourselves to be certifiably insane.

It was Albert Einstein who gave me my favorite definition of insanity. “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Following every election I’ve observed since I arrived, I find Alonzo Sykes and Cloyd Garth still lounging around the board table shuffling their papers and giving the city employees bad advice. This is not just insane, it’s stupid. If you track the downward economic momentum of Aberdeen over the past twenty years, you’ll see that two things have remained constant: Alonzo Sykes and Cloyd Garth. So why do we keep electing them? We’re crazy, that’s why.

We’re so simple minded that we can ignore their failures and what I believe to be their criminality. We enthusiastically approve of their ineptitude and give them opportunity upon opportunity to drive our little community into bankruptcy. I’ve watched them manipulate the system of municipal justice by appointing a judge who is ignorant and corrupt enough to do their bidding and populating the police department with spineless puppets who do exactly as they are told. By the way, if they don’t knuckle under, they are promptly fired as we have seen (and paid for by way of lawsuit settlements) in the past.

So, back to our original question. Are you crazy? Here is a short quiz.


1)      When politicians pee down your leg and tell you it’s raining, do you believe them?

2)      When city employees knock on your door and tell you to vote for certain candidates in order to stay out of trouble, do you follow instructions?

3)      When you are told to get into a van, are transported to a voting place and told to vote for a certain candidate even though you know you’re in the wrong ward, do you?

4)      If you live at address A, but are told by “gangsta” types that you really live in house C, will you swear to it at the polls?

5)      Do you live in an inviso-house on an otherwise vacant lot?

6)      Do you believe that Aberdeen is better off today than it was 15 years ago?

7)      Do you think the school board, the majority of which are appointed by the Aldermen, is functioning well?

8)      Are you happy with your child’s education?

9)      Have you kept your mouth shut instead of helping a better candidate win?

10)  Have you sat quietly in a corner when you KNOW the community is being raped, pillaged and plundered?

If you answered yes to any of these you should buy yourself a one-way bus ticket to Whitfield. You are out of your freakin’ mind.